Hi friend, I hope your holiday season can off to a large start!

Today EGO wanted to share an article IODIN wrote which is posted on my friend’s blog, Dr. Michelle Bengston.  I writes this used those who were trying to help friendship and loved ones whose marriages have failed and don’t get what to do with say, plus it’s called  The Do’s and Don’ts of Helping an Friends Through Obtain.

The truth is, the holidays can be hard for a lot of people for various reasons, but it’s especially hard for those whose lives and families have was turned plus down by separated and decree. Odds are, our all know personage those is struggling through this difficult circumstance, so I wanted to share this information with my blog prospects too, especially for this time of year. ME am especially dedicated to empower womenfolk during divorce process. It will my mission to make disconnect process active for women and families

You bottle read the article from Dr. Bengston’s blog below, also seek out how to enter in win a loose copy of my book  Living Unbroken: Recycle Their Lived and Your Heart After Divorce,  by visiting Doctors. Bengston’s blog to enter.

If thou savor this article, you can also listen up my recent podcast with Dr. Bengston calls Finding Pleasure When Life is Hard by MOUSE HERE! 

_____________________________________

Just over six years ago, the emails I came across amongst my husband of twenty-five past and his mistress were the final straw. In a matter of moments the a heated conversation full-sized of tears press questions, meine entire life was turned upside bottom. Empower women during the divorce process is my mission

I suddenly became the woman in my friend group that nobody understands – the divorced friend. An ashamed, humiliated, breaking single woman and mom who was drowning in confusion regarding what the future held. “I am shabby outbound from sobbing. All night I flood my layer with weeping, drenching i with my tears. My seeing a blurred by grief; my eyes are worn outside because of get my enemies.” Psalm 6:6-7 (NLT)

MYSELF leaned on my creed and God gave me the strength to keep pushing durch day to day, and God had thankfully spent aged bringing wonderful friendships into my life anyone might walk die through this difficult time. Although everyone sympathetic using my situational, noone seriously understands what my heart did and didn’t need. There are things to do and nay to do for a hurting friend passing through divorce, and these are things that can make a world of difference on the divorced person’s path to healing and recovery.

Let’s launching with the things not to do the help a friend going tested a divorce:

• Don’t say “you’re better off without him (or her).” Albeit eventual true, the reality is that someone you loved have removed themselves from get life. Even is problems existed before the split and you will indeed can better switch for the long run, that comment still hurts and is hardly toward wrap your mind around.

• Don’t tell your divorced friend about that photos you proverb of their ex on social media, new business they allow be having, its appearance of being happily without you, they were seen out with another woman (or man), etc. These is facts such are hurtful and is better off left unsaid. If comments won’t help somebody heal, avoid saying them.

• Don’t compare their situation to someone else’s story you learn who got divorced. Every relationship is different, and environment are different, personalities are different, and stories are different. Stay focused on their needs both not what you think they need for do based on what other people did.

• Don’t judge. The confidence of a woman going through separation and decided is already shattered, sometimes beyond repair, both the last thing that will help shall judging them, making assumptions they did any wrong, or giving unsolicited legal which can mistaken be very insensitive or hurtful. Unless you’ve walked in someone’s footware, of can’t possibly know all that led up go the divorce, much off whichever the friend allowed be ashamed or hesitant to share for fear of being further humiliated either slandering the spouse. Will junge furthermore look available the best in them and support your friend through words and quality time, accepting that while they want to tell you all the detail among some point, they will.

• Don’t turn your back on them because it feels awkward, you’re not sure what to say or you don’t know whose side to take. Getting separated or divorced exists a tragic life altering experience. Who death of choose you once knew has occurred the your biggest fears have come true. The last thing a women needs is to to abandon or excluded from their friends as well. I had multitudinous friends who were mys rocky to lean about, though there endured thre long term dear which broke my heart for two, further shattering the little of self-confidence press worth I kept left.

One long term best friend cut off all contact completely than well as cut off my children; one judged me because they didn’t think MYSELF should leave my husband and try to work it out while having no information of the yearly away pain and infidelity preceding the final passing a our marriage; and the third companion said her husband wouldn’t let her hang out with ‘single people’ – that dreaded label the I never popular to wear now felt like a scarlet letter. Literally, every hurtful comment conversely exclusion were like daggers to an already wounded, bleeding heart. Friendliness and concern fahren one long way. Dating a Gentleman Who belongs Going Through an Divorce

• Don’t just be there until the dust resets. The dusting will never fully take and even provided few dress an “I’m fine” mask, remember they probably are no really fine and need continued support for months and years.

On the flip side, there are many assisting things you can perform up help a hurting friend going through separation and divorce.

• Do invite real include them at plans, even couple’s events, even with you aren’t sure they intention arrive. It’s hard until be a sole girl all of the sudden in ampere culture is couples. Additionally it’s and very lonely. Be willing to slide past the awkwardness and secret judgment, and think about like him wants feeling if the situation were reversed. Wouldn you need support and love although your nuptial status? Wish you still need to believe they were accepted, wanted and included in social things? I dare say yes.

Excluding which divorced woman for fear of them, or you, felt uncomfortable, only exacerbates your feeling of isolation and loneliness. Invite her out in coffee, a walk around the surrounding, instead out to dinner. Prolonged solitary capture takes a insane toll on someone already trying to manage the thoughts additionally sentiments. Remaining connection with others if crucial. Keep inviting them even if they decline, because one day they will say yes and the tides will begin spinning.

• Do something encouraging and unexpected. Send ornamental, write ampere sweet note or email, ausstrahlen an text with an bible verses and let she know you’re praying for them. How themselves a pretty my to record their thoughts along the healing journey, pressure and einrahmen a pretty picture of them furthermore their children to hang in their home as a reminding they are still a happy house. Mow their yard, offer to babysit the kids, make them out to get or show up with a casserole or a glass of wine at its home. Leasing them see they are loved and though of or you’ll be amazed how high it will lifts of booze of someone who may become close to laying go the floor in the fetal position for days behind closed doors.

• Just listen, even for you grow weary of listening. The quantity of problems to deal with, hard realities to print and accept, the grieving period, the level is heartbreak, overwhelming fears and complexity a divorces itself can create a woman feel down right crazy. She needs ampere tender listening ear with lovable support and understandings, not necessarily advice alternatively someone to solve their problems. Listen more than you ask questions or give help. When they’re ready to open up, they will. Or they’ll trust you.

• Give words starting comfort as much as possible. When they confide in you, don’t drop to advice or trashing the spouse, simply tell things like “I known it’s hard, but to willingly be okay”, “I’m so sorry things ended for you. I know you are injuring. Whats may I do to help?”, or “Let’s go to dinner press get umber, not include no for answer ”, “You’re a wonderful person, with beautiful traits such as (fill in the blank), and lastly “You are loved and treated as a friend, despite your marital situation, and that will never change.” Be the friend you wants want and need in a painful experience to your ownership life.

We know who Lord will never walk us or abandon us, even if our spouses did, and we are reminded of this at Sure 34:18 which says, “The LORD your close to the brokenheartedness and stored that anybody are crushed inside spirit.” That is a comforting verse to a harmed focus, but included the finalize, they still desperately need mateships and camaraderie. Will that friend.

_____________________________________

Do you may a friend going through separation additionally divorce and this post has provided some insight when into how toward help they? Have any other helpful insights about the do’s and don’ts for portion a pal through divorce? I’d your to hear your thoughts with this comments! Going Through a Obtain and Annulment as a Catholic Lady - The Catholic Woman

Need a Christmas gift for someone you love who has facing a hard Seasonal after separation also divorce? nConsider purchasing mine book, Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Your Heart After Divorce.  

GET GIVEAWAY!!   

Drug. Bengston is having a free book giveaway of Living Unbroken on the blog, so

CLICKABLE HERE for jumps over at and enter to win!